Your wife is a special someone in your life, your sweetheart, and one of the best times to let her know how much you care for her is her birthday. No matter the type of tangible gift you give her, crafting some sweet words to celebrate her birthday will be the very best gift she can get from you. More importantly, integrating a sense of humor to share some funny birthday wishes with your wife will make the wishing even extra special.
Send her funny birthday wishes on her birthday to paste some beautiful and indelible smiles on her face all day long. The good news is, you don’t need to crack your brain in order to put some cute funny birthday messages together. You can take advantage of this collection to make her laugh while reminding her how much she means to you.
Table of Contents
Funny Birthday Wishes for your Wife
- Happy Birthday, my lovely wife! Today is the one day out of the year where I thank God for my mother-in-law.
- Happy 5th Anniversary of your 29th Birthday, Sweetheart!
- My love for you, darling wife, is like the digits of PI: infinite and non-repeating.
- You are the nutella to my toast and the ice cream to my apple pie. Happy Birthday to my beautiful wife.
- Happy Birthday. I love you more than I love bacon… and that’s a heck of a lot.
- Happy Birthday to the only woman I would ever want as my co-pilot.
- My dear, you keep piling up them years and you’ll soon start giving folks like Keith Richards and Methuselah a run for their money.
- Happy Birthday to my household CEO. You are one-in-a-million and I am so thankful you are my wife.
- Congratulations, beautiful. You are now considered a classic!
- Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife. If we had been on the Titanic and only had 1 door between us, I would have made room for you and never let you go.
- Happy Birthday to you! You don’t look a day over…26…22..er…19..?? I love you and your eternal youth! You grow more beautiful with each passing year.
- Happy Birthday to my hot & sexy wife! Love, Your very own Mr. Grey
- I would volunteer as Tribute for you, my darling. May the odds forever be in your favor.
- I wake up every morning and thank the good Lord for Him bringing you into my life. Jerry Maguire said it best ‘you complete me’. Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife. I love you always and forever.
- Beautiful wife, you are. Happy Birthday, it is. This light sabre, I gift you. Love, Your Jedi.
- There are only 2 absolutes in this world: Chuck Norris is the biggest badass in Hollywood and my love for you is infinite.
- Happy Birthday, my love! …and just so you know, I knew it was your birthday even before I saw it on Facebook.
- Happy Birthday to the wife who has the best husband in the world! You are one marvelous woman!
- Dear wife, you are more precious to me than all the gold reserves piled up in the United States Bullion Depository.
- Happy Birthday to the one that still makes my heart skip a beat and my stomach do somersaults when she enters a room. I am so proud and blessed to be able to call you my wife!
- Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife. If we had been on the Titanic and only had 1 door between us, I would have made room for you and never let you go.
- Happy Birthday, my wife! Today we celebrate and you are not allowed to lift a finger. Dinner, laundry and cleaning will be taken care of…put your feet up and enjoy your day!
- “What’s in a name? That which we call a wife by any other name would smell like bundt cake.” I may not be Shakespeare and I might not look like Magic Mike but I am your husband and that suits me just right. I love you! Happy Birthday, my sweet!
- You are so lucky to have me as your husband…but not as lucky as I am to have you as my beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent wife! Happy Birthday, my love!
- You are the best boss a husband could ever want! Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! Do I have any vacation or sick days left? I love you!
- Happy birthday sweetheart, I don’t have to ask how old you are today. I have always known the answer from the beginning. It’s +1.
- Happy Birthday to the one that still makes my heart skip a beat and my stomach do somersaults when she enters a room. I am so proud and blessed to be able to call you my wife!
- “What’s in a name? That which we call a wife by any other name would smell like bundt cake.” I may not be Shakespeare and I might not look like Magic Mike but I am your husband and that suits me just right. I love you! Happy Birthday, my sweet!
- You are so lucky to have me as your husband…but not as lucky as I am to have you as my beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent wife! Happy Birthday, my love!
- You are the best boss a husband could ever want! Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! Do I have any vacation or sick days left? I love you!
- Happy birthday sweetheart, I don’t have to ask how old you are today. I have always known the answer from the beginning. It’s +1.
- Dear sweetheart, I wish you long life and prosperity. But of course, the long life is only on one condition, that you do not use any anti-aging cream…the only way to live long is to age. And, I’m happy you’re doing it gracefully.
- Happy birthday, my dear wife. I pray you should start counting your blessings from now on, nothing but your blessings, and not your wrinkles.
- Sweetheart, today, we’re not blowing off the candles on your cake. Instead, we’re going to fan the flame, so that the fire of love in our marriage will be kindled more and more. Happy birthday, my very sweet baby.
- My love, each year, you’re a year younger for me, not a year older. You should always remember this. Happy birthday, my luv.
- Do you know what special gift I have for you on this special day? I will place 30 hot kisses on your lips to celebrate your 30th birthday. But, the problem is, your lips may end up burning up before I plant the 30th kiss. Happy birthday, honey.
- I planned a special get-away with you on this special day. But, that doesn’t mean we are getting away forever. I still want us to come back to our home where we have sweet memories.
- Sweetie, may you live as old as Methuselah… If you say amen, it means you may end up not having any tooth eventually. How about that? Happy birthday, my sweet love.
- My beautiful wife, going out to the cinema today is a waste of time. You are the best movie I want to keep watching all day long. So, let’s stay in-doors, just the two of us, to celebrate your birthday.
- I have just one special wish on this special day, that nothing but death will separate us…If possible, not even death should part us because I still want to marry you when we die.
- Please, don’t be the one to ask for a birthday gift today. Let me be the one to ask from you instead – can you wear a skimpy and sexy cloth for me…just for me? I already know your answer – a BIG YES!
- You’re my heart, my wife, my lover, my pet…Don’t get that wrong, you’re not my dog pet, my real and special pet. Happy birthday, love.
- Happy birthday to my beautiful and grey-haired wife! Sweetheart, I’m not mocking you. Grey-hair is a crown of glory! So, your grey-hair is adding a crown to your glory.
- My sweetie, there’s no better way to celebrate your birthday but to make sweet love to you all night long.
- Happy birthday day my love. I want to make a wish on your behalf; that you will not nag about my smelling feet from this day onwards.
- Honey, don’t even think of blowing off candles today. At 40, we will definitely need a trailer-load of candles and a lorry-size cake that can take all those candles. Happy 40th birthday to my dearest wife.
- My love, as you’re getting older, you tend to be looking more graceful. If growing older is what it takes to get you looking more graceful, then I pray that you get older everyday…
- Dear wife, don’t be worried about wrinkles as you grow older. I have the antidote for wrinkles, it is called ‘paste a smile on your face always’. Smile is the best facial makeover and the most effective anti-aging cream.
- With 30 candles to blow off on your birthday cake honey, we had better get 30 fire-extinguishers for 30 people who can do the job. Happy birthday, my one and only.
- My love, you know I love you so much, that includes even if all your teeth are gone by reason of old age. At least, you have me to eat your own portion of meat.
- My dear wife, you’ve been there for me through thick and thin. And, as a result, I don’t mind dying for you. But, don’t ask for a physical proof of that…I’m not ready to die yet. Happy birthday, my loving wife.
- Sweetheart, you will forever be my wife – in life and in death. But, that’s if there’s marriage after death. Happy birthday, honey.
- Happy birthday my sweet love. I don’t want you to get all worked up about wrinkles as you age. I will still love you more, wrinkles or no pimples. Remember, the marriage pledge was for better or for worse, and that includes wrinkles and pimples.
- I was thinking of a very suitable birthday gift for you. Since you love candies more than real food, I decided to order a trailer load of it as my special birthday gift to you. Happy birthday, my sweet candy wife.
- Happy birthday, dear wife. You are my wife for life, and my wife in death…So, do you mind dying with me when my time to die comes? Hmmm, I guess you’re shaking your head negatively.
Funny Birthday Poems for your Wife
You may have forgotten to buy a gift, but here are a couple of messages to send to your wife on her special day.
- You’ve made it through another year
Oh look, I’m still here too
Hope you picked yourself out something nice
The credit card bill sure says you did
- You’ve kept us going
You’ve lead the way
Sometimes you don’t even mind that I make you gray
Another year has past
I’ve remembered at last
I’d better say Happy Birthday and make it fast
Your hearing is going
But aging isn’t slowing
Yet the love I have for you is still showing
- The time has changed, the years have flown
Look at how much we have grown
My hearing may be selective
Coloring your hair may no longer be effective
Your features may have begun to droop
I play the moment I met you on loop
No matter how time may progress
I’m never going to celebrate you less
Happy Birthday, Wife Memes
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